Congratulations! You’ve been admitted to Nowhere State University–even though you didn’t apply.



Surely you remember Woodie Allen’s famous observation: “I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”

That’s kind of like the situation with college admissions. Some schools are admitting new students even though they didn’t apply!

A couple of companies have launched services that allow college shoppers to post their credentials online.  Colleges can view these credentials and admit students even though the potential student did not fill out an application for admission.

This development is just another sign that nonselective colleges are desperate–literally desperate–to round up enough tuition-paying students to pay their light bills. 

Traditionally, prestigious colleges have boasted that they are highly selective–often accepting only a tiny fraction of the people who apply. Harvard, for example, only admits five percent of the people who apply.

Obviously, a college that accepts new students who did not apply can make no claim to exclusivity. In fact, such a school is probably very close to an open-admission institution.

So if you get an embossed letter on fancy letterhead from a university, you never heard of, be sure to open it.

It might be a missive from an admissions officer at Nowhere University, graciously informing you that you’ve been admitted to the 2022 entering class. 

Then you will know what Woodie Allen was talking about when he said he wouldn’t want to join a club that would have him as a member.


Never join a club that would have you as a member.